Blessings beyond the Bonfire

Priscilla Mori Jackie

My relationship with Jesus Christ hasn’t been the strongest lately, and this I’m not afraid to admit. Growing up in a Christian home all my life, there is no doubt that I love God and his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. But with this love comes many worldly temptations that always seem to present themselves when I am on a “Christian high.” And because I am human, I’ve fallen many times to these temptations. I know the difference between right and wrong and the distinction between what is considered “Godly” and what is not of God. But the true challenge is what am I going to do with this knowledge? If I know that my Christian life isn’t as strong as it used to be then why am I not doing anything about it? If I know that there is great power, and blessings behind prayer then why am I not praying every day? And if I know that the friends I’ve been hanging out with are not pushing me higher towards God then why am I still hanging out with them on a daily basis? These questions and more are some of the challenges I currently face as a child of God.

Therefore it was a great blessing and relief to attend devotional camp with my MOMUSA family this past weekend. In all honestly, I did not fully agree to visit San Diego because I had a hunger for God’s word, but because I wanted to visit and have fun with my family residing in the area. Thankfully, the God that I worship is always looking out for me, and I believe in all of my heart that God wanted me to attend the camp because He knew that not only was I hungry for God’s word, but I was in desperate need to receive His encouragement. And because he is such a great God, he took little time to work his miracles within my soul. He recharged my relationship with him by providing me a chance to have a one-on-one talk with my uncle, and Pastor, Paul O’toko. The talk I had with Pastor Paul was definitely an eye-opener and was one of the many “light bulb” moments I had throughout the weekend.

Within my 30 minutes long conversation with Pastor Paul, there was one specific moment that really stood out for me. After blatantly letting me know that I have no excuse for having a weak relationship with God, I asked Pastor Paul to please remember me in his prayers that I may once again get back on the right path. His response was unexpected. Instead of saying “Of course Nana, I have always and will continue to keep you in my prayers,” Pastor Paul replied (after nodding his head), “No Nana, I will not pray that you will have a better relationship with God.” My eyes widened in disbelief. But his reasoning behind not assisting me in prayer was far more shocking. He tells me that there is no reason for him (or I) to pray that I will have a better relationship with the heavenly father because I do not need God’s help. I was stunned, obviously. God has already given me all the help that I need. He continues on in saying that prayer has been used as a defense mechanism for Christians, something that we Christ believers often use to get us off the hook. And I couldn’t agree more. Why should I pray to God to help me have a better relationship with him, when honestly it’s on my part to take the initiative to do so. In other words, why pray when you can do? I didn’t know what to say, I was speechless. Now I am not saying prayers are useless, but sometimes we use prayer as an excuse or a crutch when we’re in denial.

After my talk with Pastor Paul, I was encouraged and finally hungry for God’s word, a feeling I haven’t felt in a very long time. Because my hunger for God’s word was restored, I was able to receive many more blessings beyond the bonfire. And for this I am forever grateful and satisfied with my trip to San Diego. I am not only leaving the sunny state of California with memories of good times with family but also with the desire to know more of God. I can only imagine what God has stored for me after He has already restored me.

Priscilla Mori Jackie